The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway
by glittering-snowfall
Summary: As it turns out, Elsa is a nudist. Pure silliness. Elsanna.
1. Chapter 1

**The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway…**

 **IMPORTANT NOTE: This is pure silliness, goofiness, and ridiculousness. It is not meant to be taken seriously. It was inspired by a piece of fanart I saw on dA that showed Elsa naked. There was a comment on this fanart that said, and I quote: "** **This makes sense within the story. Elsa is not harmed by cold, so she doesn't need clothing for protection. In her ice palace she's beyond the reach of society, so she doesn't have to conform to notions of decency and modesty, and is free to go au naturel if she wishes." That sent my mind whirling and this, heaven help me, was the result.**

 **Please review and tell me what you think!**

The queen of Arendelle stood quite nude within the bright blue walls of her ice palace. She was humming softly to herself and swaying gently back and forth, back and forth as she did so. Lost in her reverie, she did not hear the delicate sound of footsteps as someone ascended the grand staircase…

Elsa jumped, startled by the sight of Anna before her. He sister's eyes were big as saucers and she seemed at a loss for words.

"You're… naked," Anna finally managed lamely. "Why are you naked?"

Elsa blushed furiously. She could feel her stomach squirming and doing backflips inside her conspicuously exposed belly. When at last she spoke, her voice was a squeak.

"It feels… nice…" she whispered hoarsely. "Pleasant… To have the cool air all over my body, caressing my skin… Not to be stifled in formal, queenly raiment… When I'm nude, I don't have to be something I'm not. I'm just as I am, as I was born… I'm… me… And it's liberating… and wonderful… and… and you're probably disgusted by me right now... I'm sorry. I didn't know I wasn't alone. Anna, I'm so, so sorry! I'll get dressed right away!"

Elsa waved an arm and prepared to form a new ice dress. Silver swirls started sweeping around her feet. That was when Anna did something Elsa never would have expected.

"Th- there's no reason to get dressed on my account," the princess murmured. "Not if... you're comfortable. I could never be disgusted by you, Elsa. I love you! And if this makes you happy, I won't judge."

Elsa's heart swelled with love for her sister. The first traces of her new garment melted swiftly away. "Really, Anna?" she asked softly. "Do you mean that?"

Anna appeared more than a trifle embarrassed, but still she smiled. "Oh, Elsa, of course I do. Now, come on! You've always told me you'd give me a full tour of this place!"

With Anna's words, confidence began to return to Elsa. Her step became springier and more buoyant as she walked through the palace's corridors and chambers, pointing out all the special touches she had put into the ice. In nothing but her birthday suit, she felt lighter than air.

"I put a great deal of effort into the chandelier," Elsa commented. "As you can see, there are many intricacies and patterns in its design."

"Uh-huh," Anna mumbled. "You're beautiful. I mean–"

Elsa's whipped her face around. As she did, she saw her sister's eyes were most definitely looking downwards, transfixed by something that was certainly not the chandelier.

"I mean, _it's_ beautiful!" Anna stammered. "The derriere! Um, I mean the chandelier! Oh, my!"

Elsa raised an eyebrow. "Anna," she said smoothly, "are you staring at my butt?"

"Who, me?" Anna spluttered. All of a sudden, her head was tilted back as far as it could go, tilted to an absurd degree. It looked almost comical, this effort to feign innocence.

"I might've known you had an ulterior motive…"

"Well, maybe I did," Anna admitted with a sigh, "but, in the end, doesn't it work out best for the both of us? You get to go about as you please… and I get to behold your beautiful bottom. It is a beautiful, beautiful bottom, you know."

"Flattery, Anna–" Elsa interjected.

"A perfect, porcelain patootie. A heavenly heinie!"

Elsa could not help but giggle. "As I was saying," she continued after a moment, "flattery will do you nicely if it's spoken so sweetly."

Both young women beamed at each other.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Elsa," Anna told her earnestly. "This… does mean a lot to you, doesn't it?"

Elsa nodded.

"Perhaps I should try it," Anna mused, and with characteristic reckless exuberance, she started to shuck off her clothes… only to scramble to put them back on again in an instant.

"Cold," she squealed. "Cold! Cold! Cold! _Cold!_ I should have remembered…"

Elsa finished Anna's thought with a laugh. "The cold never bothered me anyway."

Once more, there was joyous silence as the two stood in quiet contemplation together.

"If it means so much to you," Anna suddenly remarked, "maybe we could find a way for this to be more permissible in Arendelle. We could… we could say it's like in that fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes" and say you've got this special dress that's invisible if… if…"

Anna's voice trailed off disappointedly.

"Invisible if one is a fool, you mean?" Elsa mused. "No, no, Anna. I wouldn't want to insult anyone like that. Besides, an innocent child would no doubt find the truth out quite quickly."

"I guess you're right. Drat."

"It's a lovely little dream, though, dear one," Elsa reflected, "but I'll simply have to be content with the periods of peace I have here… and at Oaken's sauna, on occasion."

"Well, if the citizens of Arendelle have already accepted a queen with miraculous powers over ice and snow," Anna mused, "maybe someday they'll accept a queen with miraculous powers over ice and snow who's a nudist."

Elsa's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Maybe someday…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Snowgies' Surprise**

In the weeks that followed the incident at the ice palace, Elsa was the perfect picture of queenly grace – signing documents with the dignified swoosh of a quill, sweeping into rooms with stateliness. Proclamations were issued skillfully and smoothly. Arrangements for the upcoming gala were made almost effortlessly, it seemed.

Only Anna caught glimpses of Elsa tugging at her collar in the throne room or fidgeting when out on the balcony addressing her people. Only she picked up on what the discomfort truly meant.

So, the young princess devised a holiday for her sister – out in the country near the North Mountain. Of course, since Kristoff was an expert in the territory, he insisted on tagging along. Olaf did too, for the little fellow was always eager to experience new things – so eager, in fact, that he peppered everyone with questions all the way there and continued even as the party set up camp.

"Will we get to roast marshmallows?" he asked jovially.

Elsa smiled down at him. "Yes, Olaf."

The snowman squealed. "Oh, it'll be so cool, toasting marshmallows on a fire!" he exclaimed. "Well, I guess it won't be cool. It's fire. Fire is warm. I love warmth… which is kind of odd since I'm a snowman, but… Yay! And where are the animals? Kristoff said we'd see animals!"

"Out in the wood," Elsa said sweetly. "The animals are shy and like to keep to themselves."

"Oh," Olaf murmured, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Then I'll be as quiet as I can so as not to disturb them. When can I see them?"

"Tell you what," Kristoff commented, coming up behind Olaf, "I'm going out to have a look around. Why don't you come with me? We'll see if we see any animals on our trek."

Olaf appeared utterly delighted. "It'll be an adventure!" he cried. And as he spoke, he plucked a twig from the ground to wave about like a knight's sword, but ended up becoming transfixed by a ladybug crawling on it.

Elsa and Anna laughed as their friends departed, Olaf as rambunctious as ever, Kristoff assuring them that they'd be back in an hour or so.

"We're alone, then," Anna remarked playfully. "Shall we go for a swim?"

Elsa wasted no time in melting her dress.

"Oh, I think we shall," she replied.

At the sight of Elsa's undraped form, Anna stood stunned, barely registering that her sister was already sprinting away and leaving her far behind.

"Hey!" Anna hollered, suddenly rushing after her, cheeks flushing as she realized what had happened. "Wait for me!"

When Anna finally caught up, they had reached a stream whose blue-green waters shimmered in the sunlight, sparkling like the walls of Elsa's ice palace.

"I come here whenever I can to skinny-dip," Elsa remarked. "It's close to the Mountain and all. But I'm sure it'll be more fun with two."

Anna watched Elsa stride casually into the stream. She did it with such a careless abandon. One minute, her feet were making light splashes in the shallows. The next, she was nearly waist deep in the coolness of the water.

Her languidness was the languidness of a lazy summer day… a day not unlike… this one, Anna mused.

Elsa turned her head, smirking a touch.

"Anna," she sighed in a teasing, melodramatic fashion, "I know you have a particular passion for my posterior, but you can ogle it just as well in the water as out. Come on, join me!"

"I was not ogling!" Anna protested indignantly. "I was ramblingly trying to compare you to a summer's day in my head! Honest!"

"Were you, now?" Elsa continued to smirk.

"And… I was… ogling… a little… But I was doing the other thing too, I swear!"

As she spoke, Anna was awkwardly stripping off her clothes, tossing them into a crumpled heap beside her. Once she was as nude as her sister, she plunged headlong into the water.

After blinking the wetness out of her eyes, the first thing she saw was Elsa's radiant face bobbing merrily around her. Her sister swished this way and that like a shining fish, grinning broadly.

"A summer's day, you say?" Elsa sang out. "How poetic! Positively Shakespearean! You'll have to share this composition with me once you put it to paper!"

"Oh, you!" Anna cried.

But then they both fell to laughing and swimming about. They played games as they swam, kicking up waves here and there for fun and pretending to be mermaids together. Sometimes, Anna cried out that she was a mighty shark. Elsa would wail in mock despair as the redhead dove down and tugged at her legs, only to pop back up with a wide smile.

After a good long time of this lighthearted merrymaking, the sisters pulled themselves back up onto the bank, basking in the brilliant sun. When they both were dry, they settled under the shade of a great nearby tree and twined in each other's arms.

Anna snuggled close to Elsa, resting her head upon her breast. "I meant what I said earlier…" she said firmly, "about the 'summer's day' and all that. I don't know if I can exactly put it in words, but your nudity seems to, well, _suit you_. You carry yourself with dignity and self-assurance, without a trace of shame…"

"This is who I am," Elsa said simply, " _really_ who I am. When I must tend to affairs of state… when I am amongst my courtiers or dealing with foreign diplomats, you know… I must cultivate a very particular image. My every action must be measured, my tone of voice must be modulated – lest I shock or offend. My clothes are… a part of that cultivated persona. Even my ice dress, which I crafted in the spirit of liberty, has a weight to it now… People look upon me and see the Snow Queen, a construct that they have created in their heads and which I find myself bound to inescapably. They never see _me_. And I am forced to adhere to their preconceptions for the sake of the state, to put on mask after mask. All my life, Anna, I've been forced into masks as still and cold as death-masks. I have been stifled… stifled to the point where my body is crying out to be free…"

Here, Anna felt her sister's voice drift off distantly. A long and contemplative moment passed there in the shade of the tree.

"When I strip off my clothes in some quiet place," Elsa went on, "it's like I'm stripping off my problems and leaving them in a little heap on the ground. It feels so good, so refreshing. It's like I'm lighter than air. I love the way the warm sun washes over my body. I love the way the gentle breeze ripples over my skin. I'm not constricted by anything, not in body or soul. If I could be like this always, I would."

Anna nuzzled closer to Elsa and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry that society is so prudish, Elsa… At least you can share this side of yourself with me. I'm happy to have tried it, too. It does feel lovely. In fact, I could get quite used to this…"

Elsa gazed into her Anna's soft eyes as the two of them lay there on the grass. "I want to thank you again, Anna, for being so understanding about this, though I know you had your own purposes." The young queen smiled wryly. "I'm glad that I can be open with you, my sweet sister… my love."

"You can tell me anything, Elsa, you know that," Anna said softly. "And I know I get a kick out of the way your cute booty jiggles when you walk, but more than that, I want to be there for you. _For you_. I love you."

They kissed once more and, in each other's arms, settled into sleep.

* * *

"EEK! ELSA!"

Elsa woke with a start, only to see Anna scrambling about frantically, still naked as a jaybird.

"Anna, what's wrong?"

"My clothes are gone!" the princess cried. "I left them on the ground a few feet from us, but now they're gone! What happens when the others come back?! You don't supposed the wind could have– Or that someone might have– Oh!"

Anna let out a little squeal of shock, for at that moment, a dress glided by – propelled by the scurrying of dozens of little snowy legs!

The snowgies! They must have shimmied down from the Mountain, playful as always, and seen the opportunity for a bit of mischief! Now they were racing away into the woods, chattering wildly!

"AFTER THEM!" Anna wailed, and soon the princess and queen were both capering through the forest, bumbling this way and that, chasing after snowgies. Elsa kept making barriers of ice to block the snowgies' path, but the snowy imps kept darting over and around them, giggling and tittering.

At last, Elsa swirled up a great gust of icy wind and was about to send Anna's dress sweeping into her hands when… Olaf waltzed out of the dense trees.

The snowman was rambling idly to himself. "Hmm," he was muttering. "Guess I must have got separated from Kristoff and Sven back there… I wonder if, out here, I'll see any lions and tigers and bears…"

Finally, Olaf looked up. "Oh, hi, Elsa!" he cried. He beamed at her, his eyes bright and innocent. Then, after a long moment, he blinked. Something was strange here. "Why aren't you wearing clothes?"

Elsa was speechless. She wished she had conjured up an ice dress upon awakening. That way, she wouldn't have been caught in this embarrassing situation. Still, a flowing blue ice dress would have hampered her running, and besides, the feeling of the wind against her body had been exhilarating.

But what to tell Olaf? She could not say that she was a nudist. Elsa's mind was jumbled in vexation. "I'm, um, looking for a… um… uh… a Gumby-bumbled Ballyhoo, Olaf! It's a rare creature that lives in this forest, closely related to the Spotted and Herbaceous Backson. And it hates the bright blue of my ice dress, so I had to get rid of it… and I'm trying to sneak up on it very carefully." Now Elsa lowered her voice to a whisper.

" _Ohhh_ ," Olaf whispered back, awestruck. This was Very Important Business, he could see. "Is there anything I can do to help look for it?"

"Um, yes, Olaf," Elsa answered, still stammering. "I think it, um, went over there." She gestured a ways off.

Olaf was about to toddle away eagerly and leave Elsa in peace, but suddenly Anna came crashing through the trees – buck naked as her sister.

"Ooh!" Olaf cried excitedly. "Are you looking for a Bumble-gumbo Ballyhoo too?"

Anna was dumbstruck, but did not get a chance to respond, for the snowgies raced by.

"Aha!" Anna shouted. In an instant, she was in a tug-of-war with the snowgies over her dress. This way, that way they pulled. At last, the dress snapped from the snowgies' grasp. The snowgies bounced backward like puffs of fresh-popped popcorn and Anna went tumbling as well. But Anna had the dress and was triumphant!

That was when Kristoff and Sven emerged from the trees.

Kristoff surveyed the scene wordlessly, a twinkle of merriment in his eyes. "Well…" he said coolly, "what do we have here?"

"Elsa was looking for the Gumby-rumbly Booboo!" Olaf exclaimed happily.

"Oh, indeed?" Kristoff was smiling now.

Elsa sighed. The game was clearly up. "The truth is," she said frankly, "that Anna and I were skinny-dipping. We took a rest in the shade and the snowgies popped up and stole Anna's clothes. Anna had nothing to cover herself with… and I… I didn't want to get dressed because…" Elsa swallowed. "I prefer to live this way. I'm a nudist."

Kristoff merely shrugged.

Elsa frowned. She had expected a more astonished reaction. "You're not… scandalized?" she asked nervously.

"I was raised by trolls," Kristoff said bluntly. "They're not as uptight as humans, I guess. I don't mind. As long as my friends are happy."

Elsa smiled meekly. Anna was smiling too, though she wasn't quite sure what to do with her rumpled dress. She had needed it for when her companions returned, but her friends were now taking all these revelations remarkably well. Anna stuffed the dress into the pack on Sven's back. She'd put it on when they made the trip back to Arendelle.

The little party wandered back to camp to have some lemonade and sandwiches, all of them in cheerful moods.


End file.
